


Kinky

by Ack_Emma



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale is a Little Shit (Good Omens), Crack, Crowley hoisted by his own petard, Established Relationship, Free Use, Happy Ending, Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, No Smut, except dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26279446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ack_Emma/pseuds/Ack_Emma
Summary: Crowley suggests something to spice up their relationship.It doesn't go the way he hopes it will.----------I noticed there are no Good Omens fics tagged "free use".   So of course I had to write one (but crack).As for where I was on AO3 that I learned this term in the first place, really, I can explain...
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	Kinky

"Angel," Crowley purred, leaning over from his side of the bed and drawing Aziraphale's attention from his book. "I learned about something new today."

"Is that so, dear," Aziraphale replied a bit absently. 

"Have you ever heard the term 'free use'?" Crowley tilted his head and gazed intently with wide, golden eyes. Not unlike the early steps of his very effective seduction routine. 

"I have not," Aziraphale said. At this he put his book down and listened more intently. Aziraphale liked learning new things.

"I think we should try it," Crowley wheedled. "Be a little adventurous in our relationship."

"Very well. What does it entail?"

Crowley leaned into Aziraphale's space even more, going for the kill. "'Free use' means you can have me whenever you desire. Use my body for your pleasure, however you like. Do whatever you want to me." Crowley cupped a broad hand over Aziraphale's knee, slid it slowly up his thigh and squeezed enticingly.

"Oh," Aziraphale squeaked breathlessly. His pupils dilated. "Oh, that sounds very nice. I'd like that."

"Tomorrow, then? All day long?"

"Tomorrow," Aziraphale agreed.

They shared a sweet kiss goodnight and Crowley rolled over to hide his self-satisfied smirk. Picturing sweat and heavy breathing, beating wings and flaming swords, he squirmed in anticipation of the ways Aziraphale would use him. He couldn't wait. He was going to get off so hard tomorrow. 

* * *

The sky was still grey and hazy when Crowley half-woke. He felt the bed dip as Aziraphale's weight settled on the mattress at his lower back. It was happening. Crowley feigned sleep and inwardly smiled with greedy excitement.

A well-manicured hand reached over him to draw aside the charcoal duvet and hug him, sitting him up in one smooth motion.

"Whaa-?"

"Rise and shine, my dear!"

"Aziraphale, the sun isn't even up!"

"Crowley, you're all mine today, as we agreed, so I want to make use of as much of the day as possible," Aziraphale explained. He smiled so earnestly Crowley grumbled and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"Come to the shower, darling," Aziraphale beckoned.

Crowley perked up. Now this was more like it. A morning shag in the shower was not their usual thing. Crowley wondered if Aziraphale had ever seen any films where people "accidentally" dropped the soap.

The angel was already halfway to the bathroom. Crowley trotted behind eagerly.

* * *

"This, this... Just what is this, angel?"

In the bathroom Aziraphale had efficiently stripped Crowley naked and lain him spread-eagled on a table. Then rolled up his own shirtsleeves in a commanding, take-charge manner. _Satan, look at those forearms_ , Crowley thought.

That promising start then took a baffling turn as Aziraphale proceeded to smear Crowley, from the neck to his feet, in some kind of mineral-heavy mud. Then wrap him in a foil blanket while they both waited around for ten minutes.

At the moment Aziraphale was rinsing Crowley with the detachable shower head and working the mud off with circular motions, wearing a decidedly unerotic exfoliating mitt. It was squared at the fingertips and fluorescent orange.

"It's a skin treatment, dear. The mud softens and moisturizes your skin and the mitt cleans off dead skin cells."

"I'm a snake! I regularly moult!"

"I couldn't possibly wait until then," Aziraphale protested. "I want your skin at its most supple and softest now." Then, in a matter-of-fact tone, Aziraphale informed him, "I plan to touch you quite a lot today."

Crowley rolled his eyes but couldn't argue with that. "I hope there's a warm oil massage after this."

* * *

Draped in the fluffy white dressing gown Aziraphale insisted on, Crowley approached the breakfast table suspiciously. Aziraphale coaxed the disgruntled demon into his lap and wound an arm tightly around his waist.

Smiling brightly, the angel proceeded to lovingly present egg after egg to Crowley's lips, making pleased and encouraging sounds as Crowley swallowed each whole. After the first dozen, he raised a questioning eyebrow and Aziraphale explained, "you have such a cute little belly after a big meal! And get so adorably drowsy."

"There isn't an exploration in somnophilia coming my way, is there?" Crowley asked, subtly opening the gown to expose a bit of thigh.

"Goodness, no!" Aziraphale dashed his hopes, and reached for the big basket of toast.

* * *

"This isn't the 'free use' I was proposing at all, angel," Crowley yawned.

Aziraphale had tantalizingly disrobed him, lain him back on the sofa, then proceeded to use him as a starkers, demon-shaped couch cushion as they watched some sort of culinary programme on the telly.

"I'm enjoying your body so much, dearest! This is just what I want to be doing with it."

Aziraphale nuzzled his face into Crowley's full and rounded belly and hummed contentedly. He was a warm, reassuring weight laying on him, velvet waistcoat and fluffy blond hair soft and cosy to the touch.

Crowley decided to doze off and pretend there was some kind of dubcon element to this.

* * *

The fireplace crackled, heat from the flames combatting the draft chilling a certain occult corporation's bare skin.

"You are one sick bastard, you know," Crowley groused.

The culinary programme had turned into an instructional art series, and Aziraphale was inspired to break out the paintbrushes. He posed Crowley nude on one of the many pedestals in his flat then painstakingly painted a swirling floral pattern over the length of Crowley's body. He was now occupied trying to recreate the scene on canvas, as Crowley endeavoured to keep still in the centre of a miraculously suspended shower of petals.

Aziraphale set down his palette and looked around the canvas. His expression was soft and besotted.

"You're so beautiful, Crowley, I've always thought so. For millennia I couldn't tell you, even simply admiring you wasn't allowed. It means so much that I get to do it now. I never thought I would."

Compliments! Feelings! What an outrage. Crowley would not stand for this.

"Ngk," he rebutted.

"Oh! Keep blushing like that! It's so fetching." Aziraphale wiggled on the ostentatious throne and picked up his palette. "It goes all the way down to your toes, you know."

* * *

"You didn't touch my cock once," Crowley complained that night in bed.

"I enjoyed your body immensely today. Did what I wanted with it. Used it for my pleasure. Had it however I desired all day," Aziraphale reasoned cheerfully.

"Yeah, yeah." Crowley hadn't gotten a single thing he'd imagined today, except for a happy angel.

They were cuddled up, sitting against the headboard. Aziraphale cleared his throat self-consciously.

"There was one more thing I wanted to try out today. If your body is still mine to do with as I please." 

Crowley sensed the hesitation and cast a wary look in response. He was beyond hope for sexytimes by now, but this had all been his idea in the first place. "Go on," he agreed cautiously.

Aziraphale took the golden ring off his little finger and put it on Crowley's left hand. He lifted it up by his fingertips and took in the sight. 

"It looks good," he observed quietly. "In all my imaginings over all those years what I wanted most was to have you like this."

Every part of Crowley froze except the traitorous moisture gathering in his eyes. Then he launched himself at Aziraphale and kissed his fiancé senseless.

Aziraphale giggled happily and surrendered to the onslaught of kisses.

"I take it back," Crowley practically hissed. "You are a _delightful_ bastard. Do whatever you want with me, I've never had a better day."

Aziraphale beamed and snapped them into matching ivory tartan pyjamas and nightcaps. A quick engagement selfie post and Crowley's phone started blowing up with congratulations messages and exclamations of surprise.

It all happened within the space of one minute. Crowley couldn't decide if from now on he should keep his fool mouth shut or ask Aziraphale for the kinkiest shit possible.

Well, Crowley liked to live dangerously and to go with style. 

Maybe there was a kink he could suggest where Aziraphale would end up giving him a matrimonial cottage. 

It was sure worth a try.

**Author's Note:**

> And that, dear readers, is how they really ended up in the South Downs. 
> 
> I'm not sure which kink results in angelic procurement of a cottage but I bet it's good.


End file.
